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Friday, December 21, 2007

Why men do not write advice columns

ECGMA says: LMAO! ha!ha! Thanks Doug!

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: "Irwin, Doug"

Sent: Thursday, December 20, 2007 10:46:27 AM
Subject: FW: Why men do not write advice columns

Dear Ted,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Susie Fox

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Susie,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the clips holding the vacuum lines onto the inlet manifold for air leaks. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Ted

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007

Thank You for Your Emails

ECGMA says: Thanks to Margaret for this reminder.

: )
Dear All

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program .

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

And thanks to your great advice,

I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70

minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my nextdoor neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activityalways read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

5 minute management course

A MUST READ .... 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel. "
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story : If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure , why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THIS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

False! Re: Fwd: Shocking news about Michael Jackson!

From: "Chia, Tommy"
Sent: Wednesday, December 5, 2007 1:54:26 PM
Subject: RE: False! Re: Fwd: Shocking news about Michael Jackson!


A Song By JMastaT (to the music of Beat It)

We told you all, better don't come around here
Don't wanna see me dead, coz I've disappeared
My body's on ice and wrapped in plasto-clear
So Eff it, Just Eff it

[2nd Verse]
I cannot run, Coz my corpse is in the can
Don't have no blood, It's all in the frying pan
Everythin's a joke, the shit's hit the fan
So Eff It, But this is really bad

[Chorus]
Just Eff It, Eff It, Eff It, Eff It
No one want to be in the shit


Showin' how the monkey look is just right
It doesn't matter grey, black or white
Just Eff It, Eff It
Just Eff It, Eff It
Just Eff It, Eff It
Just Eff It, Eff It

[3rd Verse]
They're out to Eff me, Better jump while I can
Playing with the boys, Call me Paedophilio-Man
I could have been alive, But now I'm in the can
So Eff It, Just Eff It

[4th Verse]
The Thriller Album was to make 'em all scared
But it cost me my life, Played automatic Russian Roulette
They whacked Me, Then They Eff You,
They even shaved my pubic hair
So Eff It, But You Wanna Be Bad

[Chorus]
Just Eff It, Eff It, Eff It, Eff It
No one want to be in the shit


Showin' how the monkey look is just right
It doesn't matter grey, black or white
Just Eff It, Eff It
Just Eff It, Eff It
Just Eff It, Eff It
Just Eff It, Eff It

Repeat Repeat Repeat Chorus…..


From: EC
Sent: Wednesday, 5 December 2007 6:11 AM
Subject: False! Re: Fwd: Shocking news about Michael Jackson!


Yes, it's a hoax. If it was true, you will never hear the end of it from all news media for weeks.
http://www.hoax-slayer.com/michael-jackson-dead.html


EC

Jackie Yip

05/12/2007 01:35 AM


Hey, EC, any truth in this or is this another HOAX?????

Jackie

If we love God sincerely, then all that we do, think & say will be directed towards pleasing God. But if God is not so important to us, then we will think & seek Him only when we are desperate. Our love for God should permeate every aspect of our ordinary life.
- Fr Philip Heng, S.J.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Poem - Hidden Beauty

By Alotta

I was inspired to write this poem by my loving brother. He is handicapped. Some people that have seen my brother just see the physical part of him - his looks. They don't see or want to see the wonderfulness within him.

This poem is about finding out the true beauty within.


Hidden Beauty

saliva drips from the side of his mouth.
his voice is ever so muffled.
you don't hear him often
but his motions speak louder than words.

he is judged only by his looks.
he is endlessly mocked and verbally abused.

he asks me what "retard" means.

I cry for him
my beloved brother.

why are humans so cruel?
why do they hurt the unfortunate?

you have never met my brother
and you might never meet him.

but please, if you ever see an unfortunate,
please just think of what would happen,
if you were in their place, how would you feel?

please don't tease others
for we are all creations of the Mighty One.

in a way, we are all brothers and sisters.

my brother is now 12.
the rudeness that he has endured still goes on.
people still don't see the true beauty within him.

he is loving, caring, trusting, loyal.

he is beautiful.


Friday, December 14, 2007

A Christmas Prayer

ECGMA says: Thanks Dan R. for sharing this!


T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,

HE LIVED ALL ALONE,


IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE,


MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY,


WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,


AND TO SEE JUST WHO,


IN THIS HOME, DID LIVE.


I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,


A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,


NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,


NOT EVEN A TREE.


NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,


JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,


ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES,


OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.


WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,


AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,


A SOBER THOUGHT,


CAME THROUGH MY MIND.


FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,


IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,


I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,


ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.


THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,


SILENT, ALONE,


CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR,


IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.


THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,


THE ROOM IN DISORDER,


NOT HOW I PICTURED,


AN AUSTRALIAN SOLDIER.


WAS THIS THE HERO, OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?


CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED?


I REALIZED THE FAMILIES,


THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,


OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS,


WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.


SOON ROUND THE WORLD,


THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,


AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE,


A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.


THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM,


EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,


BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,


LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.


I COULDN'T HELP WONDER,


HOW MANY LAY ALONE,


ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE,


IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.


THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT,


A TEAR TO MY EYE,


I DROPPED TO MY KNEES,


AND STARTED TO CRY.


THE SOLDIER AWAKENED,


AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,


'SANTA DON'T CRY,


THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;


I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,


I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,


MY LIFE IS MY GOD,


MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.'


THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,


AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,


I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,


I CONTINUED TO WEEP.


I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,


SO SILENT AND STILL,


AND WE BOTH SHIVERED,


FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.


I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE,


ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,


THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR,


SO WILLING TO FIGHT.


THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,


WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,


WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,


IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.'


ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.


'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'


This poem was written by an Australian Peacekeeping soldier stationed overseas. The following is his request. I think it is reasonable

Thursday, December 13, 2007

When Travelling to Mozambique.....


Click on the image to enlarge

ECGMA says: Thanks Doug!

Here's Jmasta's contribution:
A snippet from conversation between the game warden and a tourist.

GW: Good Morning Sir. Would you kindly attach this bell on your clothing, sir!
And please take a can of “pepper spray” on your way out.

T: I say old chap, is this all necessary? (Brit tourist….hahahaha)

GW: You see that pile of dirt way over yonder?

T: Yes…. I must say I do.

GW: Well, sir. That was your tour guide. He was last evening’s supper and I am hoping you won’t be lunch!!!!
And, by the way, sir….. NO CRAPPING IN THE BUSH unless you do a song and dance first. Just to make sure the lions aren’t watching!!!
Have a good day!!!

Hmmm…… doesn’t sound bad for a short movie script huh???

Hahahahahaha……

JMastaT

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Photograph SUPERMAN

TRY TO PHOTOGRAPH SUPERMAN!
If this doesn't drive you nuts, then nothing will!

Click on the link below:
http://hk.promo.yahoo.com/movie/superman/Stop_Press_Game/

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Monday, December 3, 2007

LETTING GO

What's in store:
LETTING GO OF LIVING HABITS
LETTING GO OF EMOTIONS AND BELIEFS
LETTING GO OF EXCUSES
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET GO OF STINKING THINKING?
ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING
CHOOSING PEACE
FRIENDS AND RELATIONSHIPS
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The path to health and happiness is often not a path of gaining, but of removal. The world often encourages us to obtain, attain, grow and accumulate. This article explores the very freeing process of letting go. It is a great secret for making room for more wonderful things to come.

LETTING GO OF LIVING HABITS
Dysfunctional living habits offer temporary relief, but add stress and strain in the long run. They may include staying up too late at night, taking on too many obligations or avoiding exercise. Others include eating too much, skipping meals, drinking too much coffee or alcohol, smoking too much, eating too much junk food or sugar, getting upset over trifles or taking stimulants or depressants instead of addressing deeper causes of unhappiness.

To let go of these habits first requires a commitment to your self. You are worth the effort! Often, a good solution is to substitute better habits. For example, instead of staying up late, record that late television show, drink calming herb tea to help you slow down, decide you will not start projects after dinnertime and start preparing for bed early.

To avoid accepting too many obligations, set aside time periods on your calendar that are just for you - for meals, exercise, long baths or another favorite recreation or activity. Be very reluctant to give up these time slots for anyone or anything.

In particular, set aside time for rest, to breathe deeply, to play and to have peaceful, sit-down meals. This includes setting aside enough time to shop for food and to prepare meals with love. Eating is not something to squeeze in between appointments. Especially avoid eating in your car, or while conducting business at your office. Establishing these simple habits will influence all others. The rewards in your health will more than compensate for the time taken to focus on these simple good habits.

If you tend to overdo on alcohol, coffee, sugar, junk food or medications, there are many ways to shift your habits. Getting enough rest and sleep, eating better and exercising regularly will assist in reducing cravings. Don't keep tempting foods, beverages or drugs in your environment. Ask for cooperation from those around you. Keep better quality foods on hand at all times for when temptation arises. Experiment with alternatives. Sometimes support groups and professional help are also excellent.

When you endeavor to change any habit, do so in the spirit of celebration, not from need. The spirit of celebration means that you have already overcome it in your mind. You just need a little help to work out the details. This is a far cry from feeling you are a wretched victim of some habit and that someone or some therapy is needed to "fix" you.

Another trick for letting go of unwanted habits is to regularly treat yourself to activities and therapies that balance and enhance mind and body. These may include energy balancing, martial arts, yoga, exercise classes, body work, hiking, gardening and more. Seek balance and harmony in every aspect of life. Separate the important from the unimportant, the essential from the non-essential. Live in a quiet location, surrounded by natural beauty. Remember that the body follows the mind. Do not focus too much on physical symptoms and conditions without also addressing more subtle causes. Often physical symptoms are best seen as conversations your body is having with you. This is a much more wholesome and in fact more true understanding of many symptoms.


LETTING GO OF EMOTIONS AND BELIEFS
Examples of obsolete beliefs include fear, resentment, guilt, remorse, excessive seriousness, and judgments expressed as "should", "ought', "must" and "have to".

These familiar bedfellows have a way of hanging around and really getting in the way of having a good time. Often one is not even aware of their presence in the deep recesses of the mind. Good friends who tell you the truth about yourself can be helpful here. Also, using certain affirmations are helpful. The purpose of an affirmation is to bring up all thoughts that are unlike the affirmation. For example, the affirmation, "I choose fearlessness" will accelerate or bring up all thoughts of fear within you. Affirmations are not intended to be used for brainwashing.

In spite of the best intentions, old belief patterns often continue to come up for a while, especially if one is in the habit of indulging them. Just denying them usually won't make them go away. Instead, letting go means to notice them, but don't allow them to make a home in your mind. Notice them, bless them and see them as a relic of a dead past. Turn them over to a higher power. Take a walk, take a nap or otherwise shift your focus and let them go. You do have a choice which emotions and thoughts you will entertain in your mind. It takes some practice, but the old thoughts will begin to lose their hold on you.

Try entertaining really positive thoughts instead, such as that only love is real and I am the expression of love in this world of form. Just try these ideas on for size. At first they may seem outrageous. With practice, they become more comfortable. Eventually you will wonder why you believed otherwise for so many years.

If friends or family continually remind you of the old fears and angers, it is fine to tell them thanks, but you are not interested any more. It is alright to say you have decided to be that which you would spread to others. You figured out that anger and fear heal nothing, and only hurt the one who harbors them. In letting go of judgments about others, it may help to realize that we don't often see the big picture, and we don't really know what is best for others. We don't even know when and how we were created.

As you explore letting go, it often helps to remember that "I am in the right place at the right time". Also, I am my brother's keeper. However, this means setting an example, not nagging, manipulating, complaining, comparing or doing for others what. Comparing always leads to unhappiness. Instead, why not just show up as you wish others to be? It is a lot more fun than trying to make everyone and everything else conform to your desires.

Letting go also applies to the jaded fear-based and ego-based voices that often whisper in our ears, and serve only to confuse and hold us back. Identifying these false voices and learning to ignore them gets easier with practice.

Letting go may involve questioning every belief system you have ever been taught. Ask yourself, does this belief fit the reality that I am loved by the Creator infinitely more than I can imagine? Questioning belief systems does not mean rebelling for rebellion's sake. There's a lot of that around. It just wastes energy and causes distress. Just allow yourself to question and allow the answers to be revealed.

LETTING GO OF EXCUSES
Excuses disempower you. Let this idea sink in deeply. Excuses imply that you were a victim of circumstances and therefore you are powerless and not responsible for your actions. They may make you seem more innocent, but really they just disempower you. The opposite of making excuses is to take full responsibility. That is not a popular way to be today, but it is a valuable concept. The main reason for taking responsibility is that it is so empowering.

It is very empowering to know one is here by choice, and not simply a victim of circumstances. Life's circumstances are our playground, not our master.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET GO OF STINKING THINKING?
Practicing letting go will cause amazing life changes - sometimes very quickly. All kinds of problems may improve, and life becomes much simpler and happier. Why is this so? Because the old thoughts and attitudes created the problems in the first place. This is a most important principle. Your present situation is the result of your past thoughts and attitudes to greater extent than you might imagine. Change your thoughts, habits and attitudes and over time your entire life will change. The amazing changes that occur can be hard to believe.

ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING
Once you have set your intention to let go of outmoded beliefs and excuses that serve no good purpose, the next step is to allow and accept new beliefs and principles. How about resolving to accept all the love of the Creator into your life? Often this is the hardest thing in the world to do. We are so used to striving and straining to get what we want that the idea of simply allowing and accepting seems difficult.

Expressed in different terms, grace is not dependent on works. It is undeserved and unearned. It is like the sun that shines on everyone equally, regardless of their thoughts, actions and past behavior. Allowing and accepting may be unfamiliar words, and even less familiar ways of living. Yet living by grace works, often much better than the old way of struggle and striving.

Another new principle for many people is to consciously choose to be at peace.

CHOOSING PEACE
Choosing peace means learning to be at peace within all the time. It does not mean denying your anger, fear or upset. It means observing them, expressing them when appropriate, and then letting them go. It does not mean being a doormat or avoiding confrontation. It means learning how to communicate effectively and acting boldly at times but not from anger.

It does not mean protesting all defense spending - a legitimate function of the federal government. Nor does not mean to be a pacifist. Sometimes an action of another demands a forceful response. It means to be at peace inside yourself even if you are in a fight. This attitude will influence your government and everyone else to the ends of the earth.

A wonderful phrase to practice is "I can be at peace with this" (no matter what 'this' is). It is possible to be at peace even in the midst of chaos and war. There are stories of people who achieve this. Your peace or lack thereof always affects those around you. When you choose peace within, others see that they too have a choice. If you continue to be caught up in outer events, others have no model or example to help them avoid being caught up in these events.

FRIENDS AND RELATIONSHIPS
In the process of letting go, allowing and accepting new things into your life, relationships are bound to change. This is a delicate area in this day of easy divorce and little loyalty to family and friends. Divorce and leaving friends or family can be the easy way out - a substitute for examining deeper patterns of thought and behavior that lead to discord and disharmony. Our instant-gratification, throw-away culture at times affects us all.

On the other hand, at times friends, family members or partners may dishonor you by dishonoring their contracts and agreements with you. They may refuse to take responsibility for themselves and insist that you take responsibility for their happiness. They may be absolutely committed to unhappiness or anger. At these times, the most loving action may be to recall that all who love are joined at the level of the mind, but that physical separation is sometimes needed.

In other cases, another may not dishonor you, but you may realize that your focus or level of living is different from theirs. It is not a judgment, just an observation. Staying with them may mean you must stay at or near their level, which can cause depression and illness in a sensitive person. With great compassion you may realize you cannot maintain your integrity and keep living as another would wish, although it may seem perfectly fine to outsiders.
Each situation is different. As with any important decision, ask for guidance and you will receive it.

CONCLUSION
Letting go of unwanted things, habits, attitudes beliefs and even people is an ongoing process for one who wishes to unfold spiritually. Allowing and accepting more of who you really are requires reflection and lots of compassion for oneself. As much as possible, enjoy it and celebrate the process. Dance and play often. Know that all things are conspiring (breathing together) for your good.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Dick Painter

ECGMA says: Thanks Jackie and Desmond who snapped these pics when the visited the SEXPO in Melbourne Nov2007! What an art-dicks-tic fella he is!!!
Click on images to enlarge and click magnifying glass (+) to further enlarge to see his 'brush'.


How to achieve UTOPIA????

Click on the image to enlarge and click magnifying glass (+) to further enlarge picture
From JmastaT!

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: "Chia, Tommy"

Sent: Friday, November 30, 2007 2:21:03 PM
Subject: How to achieve UTOPIA????

Look into this piece of art….


Think of all the minds and energies eminating from these people. Each having a different wavelength and focus. How can the world ever achieve UTOPIA?


NEVER EVER comes to mind.


As long as there is diversity, Utopia will never be achieved. That doesn't mean we cannot live as one people with differences. We can live in harmony knowing those differences and accepting those differences.


UTOPIA is but an illusion, but, HARMONY can be REAL.


More Crap from the Masta…. Hahahahahaha…..

A Poem by JmastaT entitled "JmastaC"

ECGMA says: Oh my gosh! Does Lin (your missus) know you are so talented, let alone smart? I am so so impressed! Your looks deceived me, mate! No buddy, the pleasure's mine and honour to publish your very own composition! I bow to the grandmaster of JEDI Rules!
JmastaC

From: Chia, Tommy
Sent: Saturday, 1 December 2007 12:12 PM
Subject: RE: Love is T-I-M-E

JMastaC

A poem by JMastaT (A pleasure if you publish this in your blog)

Entitled "JMastaC"

A time when this man doeth ponder,

His mind takes flight and wanders.

Among friends and foe alike,

His wit and words of wisdom doeth strike.

For friend….his love, for foe…his sting,

Yet for all…. his time he brings.

Sometimes acid and humor acrid,

Most times filled with love so placid.

A man of his words, a man of his principles,

Keen and mean, yet soft and subtle.

His declaration for peace and joy abound,

His odium for injustice unyielding and sound.

A comrade-in-arm, from then till now,

A Masta to whom deservedly I bow.

With pride and joy, my wishes are sent,

To my pal, my buddy, most faithfully my friend.

Mi T-I-M-A-R Tu T-I-M-A-R,

Mi A-M-O-R Tu A-M-O-R.

(In Spanish…..hahahahaha)

JMastaT

Clan Masta

MOTJ

Poems in toilet - Poetry in (pass) Motion

Excellent poems by not so famous poets... found on toilet doors and walls..........
A budding poet trying his best...


Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.


Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...


Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted


Someone who had a different experience wrote,


You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!


Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets.


I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.


There are also people who come in for a different purpose..
.

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come
here to scratch my balls
,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement
space.......

(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire
Department wants you.


Ministry of Environment advertisement.


We aim to please!
You aim too! Please


On the inside of a toilet door:


Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.


And finally, this should teach some a lesson... Sign seen at a restaurant:


The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Vincent Van Gogh

ECGMA says: Long long time ago, as a teen, I remember watching this film "Lust For Life" starred Kirk Douglas as Vincent Van Gogh and Anthony Quinn. Here's a scene from that movie.


YouTuber SUNDROID's video tribute to the great Vincent van Gogh, with Edvard Grieg's "Holberg Suite" as background music.
Some interesting facts and stats about van Gogh (from Wikipedia): "Three of the most widespread myths about van Gogh are that he cut off his ear (it was only the lobe), that he killed himself because no one recognised his talent (in the last six months of his life he received generous accolades which he found very disturbing), and that he painted as he did because he was mad (he painted during his lucid periods). He produced all of his work (some 900 paintings and 1100 drawings) during the ten year period before he committed suicide. Most of his best known work was produced in the final two years of his life. In the two months before his death he painted 90 pictures."

Starry Starry Night By Don McLean

A dusty road dissects endless fields of wheat flanked by distant trees. A black bird, startled by the rattling sound of an old paint box, darts into the sky and disappears out of sight. Tall grass and wild flowers sway in the warm breeze that penetrates the bright sunlight of a summer day in the French countryside. The sky is punctuated with wispy clouds that resemble floating brush strokes on a pale blue canvas. At his favorite painting site, Vincent van Gogh quietly sits before a partially finished canvas, dipping and stirring his brush into a rich palette of oils. Today appears not unlike any other day; the morning walk to the fields, painting the landscape before lunch and later capturing the warm afternoon light. However, on this day, Vincent Van Gogh would paint for the last time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fNlBn8KRng

The Last Moment w/ Bhante Vimalaramsi

Here Bhante Vimalaramsi talks about the importance of the last moment before death. This is the moment that will program your next birth.

His Mother owns a nursing home in San Diego and he spent a year being with people who were within a few days of dying and talks about various visions that come at the last moment before they died and talk about what they mean.

Tree man 'who grew roots' may be cured

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;jsessionid=MLYGYKBGOGQ2DQFIQMFSFGGAVCBQ0IV0?xml=/news/2007/11/12/wtree112.xml
By Matthew Moore
Last Updated: 2:31am GMT 21/11/2007

An Indonesian fisherman who feared that he would be killed by tree-like growths covering his body has been given hope of recovery by an American doctor - and Vitamin A.

  • Update: Tree man says he wants to live to see grandchildren
  • Weird Wired Web: If you like 'tree man'...
  • Telegraph TV: Dede talks about his extraordinary affliction

    Dede, now 35, baffled medical experts when warty "roots" began growing out of his arms and feet after he cut his knee in a teenage accident.

    Dr Anthony Gaspari and Dede
    Watch: Dr Anthony Gaspari believes that he has diagnosed Dede's rare condition

    The welts spread across his body unchecked and soon he was left unable to carry out everyday household tasks.

    Sacked from his job and deserted by his wife, Dede has been raising his two children - now in their late teens - in poverty, resigned to the fact that local doctors had no cure for his condition.

    To make ends meet he even joined a local "freak show", parading in front of a paying audience alongside victims of other peculiar diseases.

  • Telegraph TV: Dr Anthony Gaspari examines Dede's lesions
  • Man who had sex with bicycle sentenced
  • Weird Wired Web: Why can't gays climb Everest?

    Although supported by his extended family, he was often a target of abuse and ridicule in his rural fishing village.

    But now an American dermatology expert who flew out to Dede's home village south of the capital Jakarta claims to have identified his condition, and proposed a treatment that could transform his life.

    After testing samples of the lesions and Dede's blood, Dr Anthony Gaspari of the University of Maryland concluded that his affliction is caused by the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), a fairly common infection that usually causes small warts to develop on sufferers.

    Dede
    Watch: The growths on Dede's arms and feet are known as 'cutaneous horns'

    Dede's problem is that he has a rare genetic fault that impedes his immune system, meaning his body is unable to contain the warts.

    The virus was therefore able to "hijack the cellular machinery of his skin cells", ordering them to produce massive amounts of the substance that caused the tree-like growths known as "cutaneous horns" on his hands and feet.

    Dede's counts of a key type of white blood cell are so low that Dr Gaspari initially suspected he may have the Aids virus.

  • Chinese pan for gold in the sewage
  • Indian man marries dog
  • How About That: More bizarre news stories from around the world

    But tests showed he did not, and it became clear that Dede's immune condition was something far rarer and more mysterious.

    Warts aside, he had enjoyed remarkable good health throughout his life - which would not be expected of someone with a suppressed immune system - and neither his parents nor his siblings have shown signs of developing lesions.

    "The likelihood of having his deficiency is less than one in a million," Dr Gaspari told the Telegraph.

    Dr Gaspari, who became involved in the case through a Discovery Channel documentary, believes that Dede's condition can be largely cleared up by a daily doses of a synthetic form of Vitamin A, which has been shown to arrest the growth of warts in severe cases of HPV.

    Dede with his teenage daughter
    Watch: Dede with his teenage daughter. He fears that his children may also become infected

    "He won't have a perfectly normal body but the warts should reduce in size to the point where he could use his hands," Dr Gaspari said.

    "Over the course of three to six months the warts should be come smaller and fewer in number. He will be living a more normal life."

    The most resilient warts could then be frozen off and the growths on his hands and feet surgically removed.

    Dr Gaspari hopes to get the necessary drugs free of charge from pharmaceutical firms. They would then be administered by Indonesian doctors under his supervision.

    Still intrigued by the origins of Dede's peculiar immune condition, the doctor would like to fly him to the United States for further examination, but fears the financial and bureaucratic barriers would prove too difficult to overcome.

    "I would like to bring him to the US to run tests on where his immune condition has come from, but I would need funding and to get him a visa as well as someone to cover the costs of the tests," he said.

    "I've never seen anything like this in my entire career."

  • "Half Man Half Tree", part of the "My Shocking Story" series, will be shown on the Discovery Channel at 9pm on Nov 15. For more details visit the programme's website.
  • I'm half man.. half tree

    http://www.sundaymirror.co.uk/news/2007/11/04/i-m-half-man-half-tree-98487-20058521/

    EXCLUSIVE Deep in wilds of Indonesia sits Dede, a man whose body is a mass of gnarled root-like growths

    Dede (SM) Dede (SM)

    With his rootlike feet and gnarled hands, he is known as "The Tree Man".

    Living in a remote village in the wilderness of Indonesia, 36-year-old father-of-two Dede has stunned medical experts.

    Most of his body is covered in growths which have become so large and thick they look like twisted tree roots growing out of his skin.

    Dede says his worst fear is that the cruel disorder will kill him before doctors have a chance to save him.

    "I am scared that it will grow across my face and end up covering it all up," the former construction worker says. "I'm so afraid I won't be able to see, that I won't be able to eat."

    Dede grew up in a tiny hamlet near Bandung, south of Jakarta, the capital of the volcanic island of Java.

    He enjoyed a completely normal childhood, but just after he turned 15 he cut his knee in an accident on a building site.

    The injury - not deemed to be at all serious at the time - was to change his life forever.

    Within weeks, a huge growth had emerged from inside his wound.

    He says at first he was not unduly worried, believing it was a wart which would eventually drop off.

    But it didn't. And shortly afterwards, horrific welts started to spring up all over his body.

    "The first one was cut off in an operation, but that didn't stop it. Instead it just grew back faster.

    "Then it started on my foot, then my arms, then my other foot and then on my head," says Dede.

    By the time he had reached his early 20s, he could no longer hold a tool and struggled to complete basic tasks. He was fired and has remained unemployed since.

    His wife also left him, leaving him to raise their two children, Entis, now 18, and Entang, 16, on his own.

    "I feel sad because my wife left me," says Dede. "And with my condition I cannot look after my kids. I miss working very much. But unfortunately I just can't do it."

    Unable to work or earn a regular wage like his friends, Dede has been crippled financially ever since the shocking condition first took over his body.

    And as a single father, he knows he is not only responsible for himself.

    But just washing and getting dressed in the morning have become virtually impossible for Dede.

    He has been helped by his brother-in-law Imun, his parents and his close friends, who club together to make sure Dede has enough money to feed himself and his teenage kids each month.

    But his support network of friends and family have provided him with more than just money to survive.

    Each morning, family members take turns to put his specially designed trousers on over his sprawling feet and help him lift a fresh shirt over his body.

    Someone must be around if needs to go to the toilet.

    Friends have even designed a huge stool so he can reach his food - but even this has to be spoon-fed to him twice a day.

    Only smoking - he gets through 30 a day - can be enjoyed on his own, with a special cigarette holder.

    Indonesian doctors tried to help him when he was younger with a series of painful operations, but to no avail. "When I was in hospital I had some of my growths burnt off and I was injected several times. I was also given some pills.

    "But everything kept growing back after the operations, like just three weeks later. And they would grow back faster," he says.

    Now medical experts in America say they may be able to help Dede by producing a cure specifically for him.

    Dr Anthony Gaspari, chairman of the Department of Dermatology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in the US, is fascinated by Dede's condition.

    "I was absolutely stunned," said Dr Gaspari. "I'd never seen anything like this before.

    "I've become really interested in his case because it's so absolutely unusual. The growths he has are just something we don't encounter in clinical medicine."

    Dr Gaspari took samples of Dede's growths and has now been able to diagnose his condition.

    He believes Dede has an extremely rare genetic disorder which means his immune system does not function properly.

    This is why his body was never able to recover from the initial outbreak of the growths, which are actually warts, caused by the human papilloma virus (HPV). Dr Gaspari is now working on developing a unique cure for him.

    But Dede says: "I worry that this disease will be passed to my children."

    And despite previous disappointments, Dede is hopeful that this time doctors can help him. "I'd love to be cured," he says poignantly. -MY Shocking Story: Half Man Half Tree is on the Discovery Channel on Thursday, November 15, 9pm.

    WHAT IS IT?

    There are more than 100 types of human papilloma virus - over 30 of which are sexually transmitted. The virus directly attacks the skin and causes warts, which can spread rapidly if touched. Normally the body's immune system will fight them off although gels help kill the virus. Dede's lack of treatment coupled with his poor immune system have increased the severity of his condition.


    Click on the images to enlarge


    Wednesday, November 21, 2007

    Malaysia's Banned Motorcycle

    ECGMA says: Thanks to my buddy, Chris T (aka Siu Loong aka Little Dragon) for sharing this with me. Does the horn go "Oink! Oink!"? This gives a whole new meaning to 'piggyback' riding, eh?.....and lard powered? Pig in malay is 'babi', thus nicknamed 'babibike'.

    Click on the images to enlarge

    Malaysia My Country

    ECGMA says: The unknown 'Malaysian Poet', kudos to him/her and to all Malaysians, heed the words of Eli Wiesel.

    MALAYSIAN POETRY BY A MALAYSIAN

    This is a story about Malaysian society
    Where different races supposedly live in harmony
    In 2003, came along a Prime Minister by the name of Abdullah Badawi
    Who led his party to a resounding election victory.

    This is a PM whose promises are many
    All his slogans are equally catchy
    As a result, many people are taken in completely
    By his humble and Mr. Clean personality.


    First among his chief promises is to combat corruption immediately
    That has everyone applauding loudly
    But until today, all the major cases are still one big mystery
    Lack of evidence or is he fooling us secretly?

    Not long after, he introduced Islam Hadhari
    Some complained there is only one version of Islam from the Almighty
    Anyway, what is it all about, no one knows exactly
    Except for some broad points outlined in theory.

    Then, he said we need to cut our budget deficit quickly
    Which started the dismantling of Tun M's legacy
    This caused us to hear about the crooked bridge flip flop story
    With all the accusations, what is fiction and what is reality?

    By his own admission, his son is extremely wealthy
    Because he controls a listed company by the name of Scomi
    Was once implicated in the shipment of banned components to a Middle Eastern country
    But his son claimed ignorance and that's the end of the story.

    He also has a son-in-law by the name of Khairy
    Not elected but is UMNO Youth's deputy
    Got entangled in the merged Avenue-ECM Libra entity
    Which happened right under the nose of the PM-led Finance Ministry.

    Then, we came across a foreign newspaper reporting factually
    Of his adventure to see a yacht at a faraway place somewhere in Turkey
    This is not true, he said insistently
    But I don't see the newspaper issuing any apology.

    Next, came the jet on the itinerary
    Bought or leased, he is lucky that Malaysians are not financially savvy
    The jet is also for the Agong's use, he said publicly
    I wonder whether the Agong requested for one specifically?

    Later, we read of his holidays in an Australian city
    Staying in a mansion owned by someone named as Patrick Badawi
    We shouldn't be so critical if he was only away temporarily
    Except for the fact that there was a major flood in our own territory.

    Then, we get the case of Proton disposing off a subsidiary
    Not for a large amount but for a mere penny
    Many think behind the deal something's very fishy
    Tun M's pet project is certainly going awry.


    Overall, crime rates are going up rapidly
    Confidence in our police is at its lowest historically
    But the IGP got his tenure extended easily
    He must be thinking everything's hunky-dory.

    He has also been busy launching economic regions lately
    Trying to attract foreign investments into the country
    Sadly, some are saying that the northern development is benefiting a crony
    While others argue the southern one will end up as LKY's colony.

    You see, I can go on and on about this indefinitely
    Because it is easy and I do not need to create any of them individually
    They are all plucked from the web where the stories about him is aplenty
    From promoting judges unfairly to always being sleepy.

    Actually, I am just an ordinary Malaysian who cares about her country
    And I have to state that I am not against him or his policy
    For I do not care who is the Perdana Menteri

    As long as the person is capable and trustworthy.


    "TAKE SIDES. Silence helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Whenever men or women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe."

    Eli Wiesel, Holocaust survivor, 1986 winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, 1985 winner of the Congressional Gold Medal, and author of over 40 books.

    Tuesday, November 20, 2007

    Facts about the 1500's

    ECGMA says: Thanks to JmastaT for these facts! I am smarter by the day being in the company of this GM (GrandMinister) of the Ministry of JEDs!

    The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

    Here are some facts about the1500s, these are interesting...
    • Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odours.Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
    • The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.
    • Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..
    • Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying .. It's raining cats and dogs.
    • There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
    • The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing.
    • As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door , it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold. (Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
    • In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot ninedays old..
    • Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..
    • Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
    • Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
    • Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
    • England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins,1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer..
    • And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !Educate someone. Share these facts with a friend ...