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Monday, November 30, 2009

Terrorist Warning

Please forward this ASAP so that we may all be aware of this new modern threat !!!!

How to Recognize a Gay Terrorist

YOMAMA  BIN  SHOPPIN

Vincent Van Gogh's Family Tree

Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh:

 

 His dizzy aunt --------------------------------------------------------Verti Gogh

 

 The brother who ate prunes------------------------------------ Gotta Gogh

 

 The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh

 

 The grandfather from Yugoslavia --------------------------- U Gogh

 

 His magician uncle ----------------------------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh

 

 His Mexican cousin ---------------------------------------------- A Mee Gogh

 

 The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ----------- Gring Gogh

 

 The nephew who drove a stage coach ------------------- Wells-far Gogh

 

 The constipated uncle ------------------------------------------ Can't Gogh

 

 The ballroom dancing aunt ----------------------------------- Tang Gogh

 

 The bird lover uncle --------------------------------------------- Flamin Gogh

 

 The fruit-loving cousin ------------------------------------------ Man Gogh

 

 An aunt who taught positive thinking ---------------------- Way-to-Gogh

 

 The little bouncy nephew -------------------------------------- Poe Gogh

 

 A sister who loved disco --------------------------------------- Go Gogh

 

 His niece who travels the country in an RV ------------- Winnie Bay Gogh

 

 There yer Gogh!



Sunday, November 29, 2009

Human Statue of Liberty

*If you received this via email, click on the link at "Posted by ECGMA to ECGeneral Blog" to view the blogpost"*
Click on pic to enlarge




Friday, November 20, 2009

Crocodile Man

Crocodile man, Chito Loco, performs a weekly show in Siquirres, Costa Rica with Pocho, an enormous crocodile.

James Galea (Card Trick) Comedy Festival Gala 2009

James Galea at The 2009 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala for Oxfam Australia. Please donate to Oxfam Australia on 1800 034 034 or www.oxfam.org.au

Monday, November 9, 2009

UN Survey - Food Shortage

Sent: Mon, November 9, 2009 12:25:11 PM
Subject: FW: excellent

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:-

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
 
The survey was a huge failure because of the following:-

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And Finally..............
In Australia they hung up because they can't understand an Indian accent.

How do you know someone smells?



Saturday, November 7, 2009

Yahoo Alert: Your Account Information Has Changed

To all Yahoo users, you may or not have got this. You are aware this is BULLSHIT!

Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis


From: "Yahoo! Account Service"<yahoo.account@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 2009 22:07:15 +0100
To: <account.yahoo@yahoo.com>
Subject: Yahoo Alert: Your Account Information Has Changed

Dear Valued Member,

 
 Due to the congestion in all Yahoo users and removal of all unused Yahoo Accounts,Yahoo would be shutting down all unused Accounts,You will have to confirm your E-mail by filling out your login info below after clicking the reply botton or your Account will be suspended within 24 hours for security reasons.
 
YAHOO ACCOUNT VERIFICATION ALERT !!! (KMM69467VL055834KM)
 
Due to the congestion in all Yahoo Accounts, Yahoo would be shutting down all unused Accounts, You will have to confirm your E-mail by filling out your Login Information below after clicking the reply button, or your account will be suspended within 24 hours for security reasons.
 
Yahoo! ID Card
 

Name:......................... .............................. .


Yahoo! ID:................... ........ .......................


Yahoo! Mail Address:...................... ..........


Password:..................... .............................. .


 
Member Information

                                       Gender:....................... .............................. ....  

 

                                       Birthdate:.................... .................... .......... ..........  

 

                                       Occupation:................... ..... ....................... .. .........  

                                       Country:...................... ...................... ........ ............



 


If you are a Yahoo! Account Premium subscriber, your current subscription will be canceled on December 20, 2009 if you refuse to update your account. We will refund the unused portion of your Premium subscription, if any. The refund will appear as a credit via the billing method we have on file for you. So please make sure that your billing information is correct and up-to-date. For more information, please visit https://billing.yahoo.com.


After following the instruction on this sheet your account will not be interrupted and will continue as normal
We appreciate your being a Yahoo! Account user.

Sincerely,

Yahoo! Customer Support


Please reply to this message. This is a service related to your use of Yahoo! Mail. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of Web beacons in HTML-based email, visit Yahoo home page. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

What do these words mean?



* SWAMP-DONKEY
   A deeply unattractive person.

* TESTICULATING.
   Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING.
   Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
   project failed, and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER...
   A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
   then leaves.

* SALMON DAY..
   The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
   screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.
   An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING.
      When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
   people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
    (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

* SINBAD.
           Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
   The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it
   to work again.

* OH - NO SECOND.
      That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
   made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

* GREYHOUND.
       A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
   A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
   works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
   displaying stars that staff at fast-food rest au rants often wear to show
   their level of training.


* MONKEY BATH .
      A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo!
   Aa! Aa! Aa!'.

* MYSTERY BUS.
      The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
   toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
   the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* TART FUEL.
      Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* TRAMP STAMP
   Tattoo on a female

* PICASSO BUM.
       A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
   got 4 buttocks  


Johnny Carson Show with Dom DeLuise

Comedy segment with Johnny and Dom DeLuise.