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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Beautiful Minds: Stephen Wiltshire

*If you received this via email, click on the link at "Posted by ECGMA to ECGeneral Blog" to view the blogpost"*

ECGMA says: Bloody Amazing!

Stephen Wiltshire from London is a star among savants. Stephen is autistic. He did not speak his first words "pencil" and "paper" until he was 5. Yet, when he was 11 he drew a perfect aerial view of London after only one helicopter ride. For this film we're testing the "Living camera" in Rome. (ColourField production)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Did You Know?

*If you received this via email, click on the link at "Posted by ECGMA to ECGeneral Blog" to view the blogpost"*

Thursday, April 22, 2010

So you want to have children.


FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Test 1 - Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children:-

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.


Test 2 - Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.

Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.


Test 3 - Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.

Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.


Test 4 - Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.

Time Allowed: 5 minutes.


Test 5 - Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.


Test 6 - Going For a Walk

Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.


Test 7

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.


Test 8 - Grocery Shopping

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.


Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.


Test 10 - TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.


Test 11 - Mess

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.


Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly.
  Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy.
Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.


Test 13 - Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.


Test 14 - Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Company Logos After the Financial Crisis

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 7.5.552 / Virus Database: 270.10.15/1922 - Release Date: 28/01/2009 7:24 p.m.


fail



Ash from Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano


April 19, 2010
More from Eyjafjallajokull
As ash from Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano continued to keep European airspace shut down over the weekend, affecting millions of travelers around the world, some government agencies and airlines clashed over the flight bans. Some restricted airspace is now beginning to open up and some limited flights are being allowed now as airlines are pushing for the ability to judge safety conditions for themselves. The volcano continues to rumble and hurl ash skyward, if at a slightly diminished rate now, as the dispersing ash plume has dropped closer to the ground, and the World Health Organization has issued a health warning to Europeans with respiratory conditions. Collected here are some images from Iceland over the past few days. (35 photos total)

Lightning streaks across the sky as lava flows from a volcano in Eyjafjallajokul April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson)

The volcano in southern Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull glacier sends ash into the air just prior to sunset ON Friday, April 16, 2010. Thick drifts of volcanic ash blanketed parts of rural Iceland on Friday as a vast, invisible plume of grit drifted over Europe, emptying the skies of planes and sending hundreds of thousands in search of hotel rooms, train tickets or rental cars. (AP Photo/Brynjar Gauti) #

Long lens view of farm near the Eyjafjallajokull volcano as it continues to billow smoke and ash during an eruption late on April 17, 2010. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

A car is seen driving near Kirkjubaejarklaustur, Iceland, through the ash from the volcano eruption under the Eyjafjallajokull glacier on Thursday April 15, 2010. (AP Photo/Omar Oskarsson) #

Chunks of ice from a glacial flood triggered by a volcanic eruption lie in front of the still-erupting volcano near Eyjafjallajokul on April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson) #

Ash covers vegetation in Eyjafjallasveit, southern Iceland April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Ingolfur Juliusson) #

This aerial photo shows the Eyjafjallajokull volcano billowing smoke and ash on April 17, 2010. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

A woman stands near a waterfall that has been dirtied by ash that has accumulated from the plume of an erupting volcano near Eyjafjallajokull, Iceland on April 18, 2010. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson) #

Horses fight near the town of Sulfoss, Iceland as a volcano in Eyjafjallajokull erupts on April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson) #

Farmer Thorarinn Olafsson tries to lure his horse back to the stable as a cloud of black ash looms overhead in Drangshlid at Eyjafjoll on April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Ingolfur Juliusson) #

A small plane (upper left) flies past smoke and ash billowing from a volcano in Eyjafjallajokul, Iceland on April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson) #

Smoke billows from a volcano in Eyjafjallajokull on April 16, 2010. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

The sun sets in a sky dusted with ash, over Lake Geneva, as seen from the Lavaux Vineyard Terraces, a UNESCO site in Switzerland, on April 17, 2010. (FABRICE COFFRINI/AFP/Getty Images) #

The volcano in southern Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull glacier sends ash into the air Saturday, April 17, 2010. (AP Photo/Brynjar Gauti) #

Farmers team up to rescue cattle from exposure to the toxic volcanic ash at a farm in Nupur, Iceland, as the volcano in southern Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull glacier sends ash into the air Saturday, April 17, 2010. (AP Photo/Brynjar Gauti) #

A rescue team helps landowners to clear volcanic ash from a roof in Seljavellir, Iceland on April 18, 2010. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

Sheep farmer Thorkell Eiriksson (R) and his brother-in-law Petur Runottsson work to seal a sheep barn, in case winds shift and ash from a volcano erupting across the valley lands on their farm, in Eyjafjallajokull April 17, 2010. The current season is when the spring lambs are born and such young animals are especially susceptible to volcanic ash in their lungs so they must be stored inside. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson) #

A dark ash cloud looms over the Icelandic south coast April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Ingolfur Juliusson) #

Lightning, smoke and lava above Iceland's Eyjafjallajokul volcano on April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson) #

View seen from a road leading to the Eyjafjallajokull volcano as it continues to billow smoke and ash during an eruption on April 17, 2010. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

A man runs along the roadside, taking pictures of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano as it continues to billow smoke and ash during an eruption on April 17, 2010. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

A huge ash cloud creeps over the Icelandic south coast April 16, 2010. (REUTERS/Ingolfur Juliusson) #

Wearing a mask and goggles to protect against the smoke, dairy farmer Berglind Hilmarsdottir from Nupur, Iceland, looks for cattle lost in ash clouds, Saturday, April 17, 2010. (AP Photo/Brynjar Gauti) #

A farmer checks muddy volcanic ash on his land in Iceland on April 18, 2010. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

This aerial image shows the crater spewing ash and plumes of grit at the summit of the volcano in southern Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull glacier Saturday April 17, 2010. (AP Photo/Arnar Thorisson/Helicopter.is) #

A pilot takes pictures of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano billowing smoke and ash during an eruption on April 17, 2010. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

Construction crews repair a road damaged by floods from glacial melting caused by a volcano in Eyjafjallajokull, Iceland April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson) #

Horses graze in a field near the Eyjafjallajokull volcano as it continues to billow dark smoke and ash during an eruption late on April 17, 2010. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

Ingi Sveinbjoernsso leads his horses on a road covered volcanic ash back to his barn in Yzta-baeli, Iceland on April 18, 2010. They come galloping out of the volcanic storm, hooves muffled in the ash, manes flying. 24 hours earlier he had lost the shaggy Icelandic horses in an ash cloud that turned day into night, blanketing the landscape in sticky gray mud. (HALLDOR KOLBEINS/AFP/Getty Images) #

The ash plume of southwestern Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano streams southwards over the Northern Atlantic Ocean in a satellite photograph made April 17, 2010. The erupting volcano in Iceland sent new tremors on April 19, but the ash plume which has caused air traffic chaos across Europe has dropped to a height of about 2 km (1.2 mi), the Meteorological Office said. (REUTERS/NERC Satellite Receiving Station, Dundee University, Scotland) #

A woman makes a phone call in the empty arrival hall of Prague's Ruzyne Airport after all flights were grounded due to volcanic ash in the skies coming from Iceland April 18, 2010. Air travel across much of Europe was paralyzed for a fourth day on Sunday by a huge cloud of volcanic ash, but Dutch and German test flights carried out without apparent damage seemed to offer hope of respite. (REUTERS/David W Cerny) #

Lava and lightning light the crater of Eyjafjallajokul volcano on April 17, 2010. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson) #

The first of 3 photos by Olivier Vandeginste, taken 10 km east of Hvolsvollur at a distance 25 km from the Eyjafjallajokull craters on April 18th, 2010. Lightning and motion-blurred ash appear in this 15-second exposure. (© Olivier Vandeginste) #

The second of 3 photos by Olivier Vandeginste, taken 25 km from the Eyjafjallajokull craters on April 18th, 2010. The ash plume is lit from within by multiple flashes of lightning in this 168 second exposure. (© Olivier Vandeginste) #

The third of 3 photos by Olivier Vandeginste, taken 10 km east of Hvolsvollur Iceland on April 18th, 2010. Lightning flashes and glowing lava illuminate parts of Eyjafjallajokull's massive ash plume in this 30-second exposure. (© Olivier Vandeginste) #