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Thursday, September 29, 2011

THE MEN HAS SPOKEN.....!

The Man Rules 

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
 
Finally , the guys' side of the story. 
( I must admit, it's pretty good.) 
We always hear " the rules" from the female side....

Now here are the rules from the male side.    

These are our rules! 
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!  
 
1.   Men are NOT mind readers. 
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
 
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. 
You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. 
We need it up, you need it down. 
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. 
Let it be. 

1.. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work! 
Strong hints do not work! 
Obvious hints do not work! 
Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. 
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 

1. You can either ask us to do something 
Or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both. 
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 

1. Jan van Riebeeck did NOT need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. 
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. 
We do that. 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. 
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Rugby or Cricket or Motorsports. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape.   Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. 
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. 

Pass this to as many men as you can to give them a laugh. 

Pass this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh.
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Hot girls in elevator - Funny!



*If you received this via email, click on the link at "Posted by ECGMA to ECGeneral Blog" to view the blogpost"*

How a Dog Hugs a Baby...


Subject:        FW: How a Dog Hugs a Baby...



 

How a Dog Hugs a Baby


 

I Thought you might like to know
about this dog and his history. I
especially like the ending .....


The K9 above is Brutus, a military K9 at McChord.. .. He's huge - part Boxer
and part British Bull Mastiff and

tops the scales at 200 lbs.
His handler took the picture.
Brutus is running toward me

because he knows I have some

Milkbone treats, so he's slobbering away!

I had to duck around a tree just
before he got to me in case he
couldn't stop, but he did.
Brutus was the recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor last year from his tour in Iraq . His handler and
four other soldiers were taken hostage by
insurgents. Brutus and his handler communicate by sign language

and he gave Brutus the signal that
meant 'go away but come back
and find me'. The Iraqis paid
no attention to Brutus. He came back
later and quietly tore the throat out of
one guard at one door and another guard at another door. He then jumped against one of the doors repeatedly (the guys were being held in an old warehouse)

until it opened. He went in and untied his handler and they all escaped. He's
the first K9 to receive this honor.

If he knows you're ok, he's a big
old lug and wants to sit in your lap.

He enjoys the company of cats.K-9 Congressional Medal
of Honor Winner thought
you'd find this interesting.Talk about animal intelligence and
bonding with humans!


Remember that they can't do a lot of things for
themselves and they depend on you to make
their life a quality life!

Instructions for properly hugging a baby
(from a dog's point of view):
1. First, uh, find a baby.

2. Second, be sure that the object you found
was
indeed a baby, by employing classic sniffing
techniques.



+
3. Next, you will need to flatten the baby before
actually beginning the
hugging process.

4. The 'paw slide' = Simply slide paws around baby
and prepare for possible close-up.


5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute
the difficult and patented 'hug, smile, and lean' so
as to
achieve the best photo quality.


It will be a shame if you
don't pass this along!!

 

.
    This email and any attached files ("Message") may contain confidential and/or privileged information. It is intended solely for the addressee(s). If you receive this Message in error, inform the sender by reply email, delete the Message and destroy any printed copy. Any unauthorized use, distribution, or copying of this Message or any part thereof is prohibited. Emails are susceptible to alteration. Neither Technip nor any of its affiliates shall be liable for the Message if altered or falsified nor shall they be liable for any damage caused by any virus that might be transmitted with this Message. 


Interesting Office T-Shirts !!!


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

For Gen Y, the Internet trumps love and cars

The Cab ride

The Cab Ride  

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I walked to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware..

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice.. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?'
She asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said.

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life..

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ~BUT~THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL

You won't get any big surprise in 10 days if you send this to ten people. But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on and reminding us that often it is the random acts of kindness that most benefit all of us.

Thank you, my friend...
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Monday, September 26, 2011

Husband's eBay revenge after finding out about wife's infidelity

Husband sells wife s sat nav over infidelity
A husband has posted his wife's satellite navigation system on eBay after he noticed regular trips on it were to her lover's house.
However instead of simply adding the sat nav and selling it, Dave200661 is using the listing to tell all and sundry about his wife's affair.
He starts by saying "This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels..."
He then goes on to describe the sat nav, but soon returns to explaining the story of why he's selling it.
"I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400...
"As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed..."
He then explains how he found out about this wife's affair. He had been tinkering with the navigation system when he realised all her journeys out had been to 'Nigel's' house. So 'like any normal human', he reprogrammed Nigel's address on the TomTom Go 700 to one in a town far away.
His wife didn't realise anything was amiss when she started driving the wrong way to her lover's house. She assumed something was wrong with the GPS, and asked her husband to help fix it.
According to Dave: "She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous (sic) snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4."
At that point, all was revealed and his wife "decided her future lies in the squallor (sic) of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell (sic)."
It seems Dave's plight has struck a chord with eBay users with over 600,000 views. There have also been hundreds of bids, although at one point, bidding was up to £10,000,000 which didn't make Dave very happy.
"Ignore the rediculous (sic) bids everyone it's just the few who want to ruin it for the rest..."
"eBay will still charge commission on the sale and I'll have to claim to get it back."
Thousands of people wrote to him, many sharing similar stories, such as: "My cheating scumbag of a husband has done something equally as heinous and I wish with all my heart I could be as humourous as you are about it."
Another user wrote: "I don't need or want the satnav but would gladly buy you a pint."
Instead of accepting money, Dave asked them to donate to charities such as Cancer Research UK.

He also certainly seems grateful for the support.
"Well what can I say !!!!! Thank you all doesn't even come close...."

Friday, September 23, 2011

Chinese Policewoman kills in less than 3 seconds (english sub)



*If you received this via email, click on the link at "Posted by ECGMA to ECGeneral Blog" to view the blogpost"*

==friday funnies==


Eel removed from man's bladder after entering penis during beauty spa

 

Eel removed from man's bladder after entering penis during beauty spa

An erratic eel wriggled its way up a man's penis and into his bladder following an accident during an unorthodox beauty spa treatment in China.

Zhang Nan was bathing with live eels to cleanse his skin when one rogue serpent took a liking to his manhood.
Eel swims up penis China removed urethral trauma G. Vezhaventhan Abdominal Ultrasonogram Foreign object: The dead eel is placed next to the surgical tool used to remove it from Zhang Nan's bladder (Picture: CEN)
The eel treatment in question is a similar concept to the popular London spas that offer fish pedicures.
Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin.
But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realised a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder.
'I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body. But then suddenly I felt a severe pain and realised a small eel had gone into the end of my penis,' the 56-year-old from Honghu, Hubei province said.
'I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis.'
(OK, that's enough cringing now... it's horrible, though, we know...)
Rushing himself to hospital, the man underwent a three-hour operation to remove the six-inch eel which was dead by the time doctors found it.
Surgeon Jin Wang said that, because of the eel's slippery nature, it was able to make a smooth entry into the genitals of Nan.
'The diameter of the urethra in a man's penis is just a little narrower, but because eels are quite slippery, its body worked as a lubricant and so it got into the penis smoothly,' he said.
(Really - stop cringing - we can see you...)
Believe it or not, Nan's case follows a similar incident when a 14-year-old boy in India had to undergo emergency surgery.
In a case study published by urologists Dr G Vezhaventhan and R Jeyaraman, they described how they removed a 2cm-long fish from the boy's bladder.
The teenager said that while holding the fish he had gone to the toilet and, while urinating, the fish had 'slipped from his hand and entered his urethra'.
Hmmm...


Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/875317-eel-removed-from-mans-bladder-after-entering-penis-during-beauty-spa#ixzz1YhNPNU62

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Road Sign Story

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Protest by a Frustrated Husband

There are 3 kinds of men in the world:

Some remain single & make wonders happen,

Some have girlfriends & see wonders happen,

The rest get married & wonder what happened?
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Man & Woman - Periodic Table of Elements

PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS

Element Name: WOMANIUM Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!

Element Name: MANIUM
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/ - 50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time. Neuralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
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Friday, September 16, 2011

More Sexual Predators Going Online

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Passport Choice for Aussies: Male, Female or X

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Quote on Anger

Quote on Anger

If you are right then there is no need to get angry

And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry. 

Patience with family is love,

Patience with others is respect,

Patience with self is confidence
and
Patience with GOD is faith.

Never Think Hard about PAST,

It brings Tears...

Don't Think more about FUTURE,

It brings Fears...

Live this Moment with a Smile,

It brings Cheers.!!!! 

Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,

Every problem comes to make us or break us,

Choice is ours whether we become victim or victorious !!!

Search a beautiful heart not a beautiful face.

Beautiful things are not always good

but good things are always beautiful

Do you know, why God created gaps between fingers?

So that someone who is special to you, comes and fills those gaps by holding your hands forever.
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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Best Prostitute in the World - Germany



On the streets of Berlin, Germany I met up with a prostitute named, Madeline. She's a fun party girl who loves her work! Enjoy! :-)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

15,000 Dogs Slaughtered for Food Festival in China; Experts Propose Ban on Dog Meat (PHOTOS)

15,000 Dogs Slaughtered for Food Festival in China; Experts Propose Ban on Dog Meat (PHOTOS)

15,000 Dogs Slaughtered for Food Festival in China, proposes ban on dog meat

Over 15,000 dogs were slaughtered for Chinese festival in Yulin in eastern China, which kicked off during the weekend.

Yulin is recognised throughout the region for producing some of the tastiest dog meat in the world. The festival started a couple years ago and draws sizable crowds of people who descend upon the city to take part in the event.

'It is just like other meat. Smaller animals tend to be more delicate and sweeter while very big dogs have a strong, muscular taste," said Local Lu Hin, the Daily Mail reported.

"We proved that when we started the festival a few years ago and everybody accepts that the best dog meat dishes come from Yulin. That was why we created the festival and the number of visitors we get is a testimony to the fact that everybody recognises how good the dog meat is from the region", he added.

Preserved dog meat is an accepted cuisine in some parts of Guangdong province as certain breeds of dogs are raised up to 3 or 4 months old and slaughtered on farms, local media reported.

Eating dog is a socially acceptable practice in parts of southern China. Dog meat has been a source of food in some areas of China from around 500 BC and possibly even earlier.

However, the dog meat industry has come under fire recently with many animal rights groups claiming animal cruelty. The first draft of a law against animal abuse, aiming to protect animals from being hurt or killed in a cruel manner, was completed by a group of experts and was due to be raised for legislation in April, local media reported earlier this year.

The proposal included jailing people who eat dog meat for up 15 days. While many Chinese enjoy rich dog meat, especially during cold winters, some object to the practice in some regions of beating dogs to death to release the blood into the meat.

Food festival in China celebrates canine culinary culture - with 15,000 dogs on the menu

Food festival in China celebrates canine culinary culture - with 15,000 dogs on the menu

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT
Last updated at 3:14 PM on 28th June 2011

The delicacies on offer might not be to everyone's taste, but that didn't stop thousands of visitors attending a food festival in Yulin, eastern China.

For the town is recognised throughout the region for producing some of the most flavoursome dog meat in the world.
More than 15,000 dogs were slaughtered to feed connoisseurs of canine flesh at the week-long festival, which kicked off at the weekend.
Slaughtered: A trader in Yulin transports several dog carcasses on his motorbike
Slaughtered: A trader in Yulin transports several dog carcasses on his motorbike

Farmers in the region are highly respected for raising different breeds of dog specifically for the table.
Local Lu Hin explained: 'It is just like other meat. Smaller animals tend to be more delicate and sweeter while very big dogs have a strong, muscular taste.
On the menu: A butcher prepares dog meat carcasses. More than 15,000 of the animals were butchered for this week's festival
On the menu: A butcher prepares dog meat carcasses. More than 15,000 of the animals were butchered for this week's festival
'Dog is popular as a dish in China but we are the home of it. We proved that when we started the festival a few years ago and everybody accepts that the best dog meat dishes come from Yulin.
'That was why we created the festival and the number of visitors we get is a testimony to the fact that everybody recognises how good the dog meat is from the region.'
Final journey: Dogs look out of their cages from a truck on a motorway on the outskirts of China's capital Beijing. Dog meat is a delicacy in China, especially in the southern provinces (File photo)
Final journey: Dogs look out of their cages from a truck on a motorway on the outskirts of China's capital Beijing. Dog meat is a delicacy in China, especially in the southern provinces (File photo)

Dog flesh - or 'fragrant meat' as it is known in the region - has been a popular food source in China for thousands of years and is believed to provide medicinal benefits.
However, the industry has come under fire in recent years over concerns about cruelty. Authorities are now proposing to draw up legislation banning the consumption of dog meet.
During the 2008 Olympic games, dog meat was taken off the menus of official Olympic restaurants in order to avoid offending foreign visitors.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2008751/Tasteless-Food-festival-Yulin-China-celebrates-canine-culinary-culture--15-000-dogs-menu.html#ixzz1XMGz42QI

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk
 
 1. Innovative
 2. Preliminary
 3. Proliferation
 4. Cinnamon
 
Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk
 
 1. Specificity
 2. Anti-constitutionalistically
 3. Passive-aggressive disorder
 4. Transubstantiate
 
Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You're Drunk
 
 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
 2. Nope, no more booze for me!
 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
 4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
 5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
 6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
 7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
 8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
 9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to piss in this parking lot or on the road side.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

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Monday, September 5, 2011

CCTV-9 report: Solar bottle lights in the Philippines



*If you received this via email, click on the link at "Posted by ECGMA to ECGeneral Blog" to view the blogpost"*

Coke bottles light up Filipinos' lives!

ECGMA asks: At 0:59 of the clip, I couldn't hear properly, add water and what?

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Internet Scam - Re: Customer Alert

How stupid can these monkeys from Africa be! Even more stupid are the recipients who gullibly respond to these F-ing conmen!
Western Union using hotmail and so dumb to name its email with 'Africa' in it. Dumb and dumbers are a dime a dozen.

------Original Message------
From: Western Union
ReplyTo: wu.africaclaimdepartment@hotmail.com
Subject: Customer Alert
Sent: Sep 3, 2011 12:50 AM

Dear Western Union Customer,

You have been awarded with the sum of $50,000 USD by our office, as one of our customers who use Western Union in their daily business transaction. This award was been selected through the Internet, where your e-mail address was indicated and notified. Please provide Mr. Gary Epps with the following details listed below so that your fund will be remitted to you through Western Union.

1. Name:
2. Address:
3. Country:
4. Phone Number:
5. Occupation:
6. Sex:
7. Age:

Mr.Gary Epps

Friday, September 2, 2011

Former Triad gangster Kim Goh becomes Mersey minister


Kim Goh
MERSEYSIDE'S latest vicar is an ex-Triad gangster who was sentenced to four years in jail.
The Rev Kim Goh used to be known as the "Chinese Godfather" and was the head of the Triad sect across the UK in the 1980s.
His life of crime and violence took him across the world.
But it was during his time in prison that he decided to join "God's gang" and he has been a Methodist minister for the past 11 years.
Talking about his chaotic past, Mr Goh, 62, told the ECHO: "There was a time when I chased people with an ice pick around Piccadilly Circus, and another in Spain when I chased people with machetes.
"One time I was drunk on an open top bus and just jumped off. When I woke up, I was in a hospital in Middlesex with stitches in my head. I was the first person to have a fight in the Hilton, it was in the lift going to the roof garden when some South Americans were being racist.
"Gambling was my passion, but also my weakness."
Born in Singapore, Kim left home at 18 and travelled the world, taking him across America, throughout Europe and eventually the UK, and moved his way up the UK Triad movement.
He added: "I left home as a teenager because I didn't get on with my parents, and committed crime all over the world.
"I moved into a world of lust and dope and it suited me very well.
"But then I was arrested in 1985 and sent to a category A prison in Leeds for extortion, actual bodily harm, grievous bodily harm and all kinds of things you could think of. I had more than 500 charges against me."
He was sentenced to four years, and while imprisoned, his life turned a corner when he had a personal encounter with God.
Mr Goh said: "On the first day of prison, I became a Christian. I went to the chapel to get out of my cell for an hour. I volunteered to clean as well to keep busy, I was swearing out loud and blaming God.
"But then I heard someone speak to me and say 'Kim, why are you swearing at me?'. I thought it was my fellow convicts messing about.
"I said it again and I realised it was the voice from God, and felt his presence. At that moment I saw all the bad I had done in my life flash in front of me.
"I had never been so scared and felt ashamed. Then God said 'I love you and forgive you'.
"I thought the white man's God is so powerful that he can speak to me privately? I became very defenceless and thought 'better not mess with him', so I joined his gang.
"The prisoners thought I was going around the bend and it was a scam because I had a lot of charges.
"I was sentenced to four years, but God said I should only serve one. So I appealed and the second time three judges in London accepted my appeal.
"My sentence was reduced to three years. I had served 13 months so I was released for good behaviour.
"The British government told me when I was first sentenced that I would be deported back to Singapore. But God told me I should stay in this country. Then, when I was released, a letter came from the Home Office to say I could stay in the country indefinitely. I have no idea why – I didn't appeal to stay here or anything.
"I was in shock – it was like 'wow, everything has come true'."
On his release, Mr Goh joined a church. He studied at theological college and has been a methodist minister for 11 years.
He has been married to Mary for 18 years, and has written a book, Conquering The Dragon, about his life as a Triad.
The couple arrived in Maghull recently, and this month he takes over from The Rev Andrew Longshaw as minister at the Methodist churches in Maghull, Old Roan and Fazakerley.
His last post was in Loughborough where he looked after four churches.
Mr Goh added: "I am very keen to help the community. As a Christian I think it is very important to be part of the community. We can reach out to neighbours."

A Plan To Place An Asteroid In Earth Orbit

arXiv blog

A Plan To Place An Asteroid In Earth Orbit

Chinese scientists have discovered a near Earth asteroid that, with a slight push, could enter Earth orbit

kfc 08/29/2011
  • 4 Comments
Most of the discussion about near Earth asteroids focuses on whether they represent a threat to Earth and what to do take if they turn out to be heading our way.
But today, Hexi Baoyin and pals at Tsinghua University in Beijing offer a different take. The question they ask is how to place an asteroid in orbit around the Earth.
Their conclusion is a little surprising. They say it's relatively straightforward to nudge a small asteroid in our direction. They've even discovered a number of candidates nearby that we might want to bring as little closer.
Their inspiration is a phenomenon that astronomers have noticed with Jupiter. Every now and again, the gas giant captures a nearby object, which hangs around for a few years and then wanders off into space.
A good example is the comet Oterma which went into orbit about Jupiter in1936 before heading off into the Solar System two years later.
Could a similar thing happen to Earth, ask Baoyin and co. Having studied the orbits of the 6000 known near Earth objects (NEO), they say the short answer is no. None of them will come close enough for Earth to capture.
However, a few of these objects will come maddeningly close. So near, in fact, that a small nudge would send them into Earth orbit. "When such an NEO approaches Earth, it is possible to change its orbit energy...to make the NEO become a small satellite of the Earth," they say.
A particularly good candidate is a 10-meter object called 2008EA9 which will pass within a million kilometres or so of Earth in 2049. 2008EA9 has a very similar orbital velocity as Earth's. Baoyin and co calculate that it could be fired into Earth orbit by changing its velocity by 410 metres per second. That's tiny.
This nudge should place the asteroid in an orbit at about twice the distance of the Moon. From there it can be studied and mined, they say.
Just like Oterma's, this orbit is likely to be temporary so 2008EA9 will probably wander off into the heavens after a few years.
Interesting idea. What could possibly go wrong?

Ref: arxiv.org/abs/1108.4767: Capturing Near Earth Objects

Scam: BUSINESS PROPOSAL

Dear All,
This scam biz proposal has been floating around since 2006. It has made its rounds to me.


According to Wikipedia, Chen Guangyuan (1873–1939) was a Zhili clique warlord and military governor of Jiangxi from August 6, 1917 to June 15, 1922.
According to this, he is also a prominent Islamic Imam! What a coincidence!
This list goes on....

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: Chen Guangyuan <chen_guangyuuan@yahoo.com.hk>
To:
Sent: Friday, September 2, 2011 1:55 AM
Subject: BUSINESS PROPOSAL

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am Mr. Chen Guangyuan, Foreign Operations Manager of the Bank of
China (Hong kong), I have a lucrative business proposal of mutual
interest to share with you. Please contact me via my secure  email
address for more details about this transaction.

Email:chen_guangyuuan@yahoo.com.hk

Regards,
Mr. Chen Guangyuan.




Thursday, September 1, 2011

Gan Bei

A Chinese man and an English man were dining in a restaurant.

The Chinese man lifted his glass up and made a toast to the English man, "Gan Bei" (Cheers). The English man was confused but he continued eating.

This happened a few times and whenever the Chinese man wanted to drink he would always say "Gan Bei"

The English man only nodded and silently continued to drink and eat.
 
Not long after, the Chinese man once again said, "Gan Bei" whilst lifting up his glass.

This time, the English man put down his cutlery and angrily said to the Chinese man,
"It's all right if you CAN'T PAY!" I'll pay! So just shut up".... = )
++++++++++++++++++++
Sent from my BlackBerry®
smartphone powered by U Mobile
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Some disturbing WTF's