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Friday, September 14, 2012

Some absolute "truths"

 
It's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
 
You are not drunk 
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.
 
We have enough "youth".
How about a fountain of "smart"?

  

The original point and click interface 
was a Smith & Wesson.
 
 
 
A Fool and his money 
can throw one heck of a party
 
 
 
When blondes have more fun,do they know it?
 
 
 
Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.
 
 
 
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL
 
 
 
Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
 
 
 
Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.
 
If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you
 
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
 
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
 
Red meat is not bad for you 
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
 
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.
 
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.
 
Alabama state motto: 

At least we're not Mississippi
 
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
 
"You know why a politician is like a banana?"
"He comes in and first he is green,
then he turns yellow
and then he's rotten."
 
 
 
"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,
you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
identify their corporate sponsors."
 
 


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