Tuesday, October 30, 2012
The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."
"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.
"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body." said the father.
The son asked, "And what about those 'funny' shoes on your feet?
His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet in the desert."
"So tell me then," added the boy.
"Yes, my son?"
"Why are you living in the UK and still wearing all this?
Posted by ECGMA at 8:07:00 PM
Monday, October 29, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
"They say" that English is the hardest language to learn (and write!), then there is our slang!!!!
I think a retired English teacher was bored.
This took a lot of work to put together! You think English is easy??
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' or 'put' with 'but'?
Posted by ECGMA at 6:03:00 PM
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Official Mafia gathering spot.Don't even think about fishing for fish.Beer for childrenIt's about time that dogs start taking some personal responsibility.Real fishy water.Poor zebra... or maybe not.If you hit a bird, it will fall on its back.Take a chance card for road monopoly.Not only king of jungle but king of fartsGo on, break dance, man.Trespassing without asking? Where are your manners?Feed the crocodiles at your own risk.What's funnier - throwing rocks or owning up?Makes you wonder which is scarier?You should probably turn back now.For excavators probably.Or thissa way?What? 13 cannot?!!?Thank God for this map. Otherwise you will really get lost.Yep, that's what brought you here.
Posted by ECGMA at 2:51:00 PM