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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Tufty Terror

Fair Question, I guess? Yeah...why?

A young Arab asks his father, "What is that odd hat you are wearing?"

The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.

"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body." said the father.

The son asked, "And what about those 'funny' shoes on your feet?

His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet in the desert."

"So tell me then," added the boy.

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are you living in the UK and still wearing all this?

Monday, October 29, 2012

Happy Halloweeen from the Pumpkin Master

 Pumpkin Master strikes again

  More Classics from The Pumpkin Master... Ray Villafane                 



A Friend in need is a Friend indeed......





A Friend in need is a Friend indeed....

This May Be THE Definition of a True
Friend
Where will you find a sincere and true friend like him?
Please let all of us know.
Thanks!

__._,_.___

Thursday, October 25, 2012

English, like the camel, must have been put together by a committee

"They say" that English is the hardest language to learn (and write!),  then there is our slang!!!!
 
I think a retired  English teacher was bored. 

This took a lot of  work to put together!  You think  English is easy??

1)  The bandage was wound around the  wound.

2) The farm was used  to produce produce.

3) The  dump was so full that it had to refuse  more refuse.

4) We  must polish the Polish  furniture.

5) He could lead  if he would get the lead  out.

6) The soldier decided to  desert his dessert in the  desert.

7) Since there is no  time like the present, he thought it  was time to present the  present.

8) A bass  was painted on the head of the bass  drum.

9) When shot at, the  dove dove into the  bushes.

10) I did not object  to the object.

11)  The insurance was invalid for the  invalid.

12) There was a  row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too  close to the door to close  it.

14) The buck does  funny things when the does  are present.

15) A seamstress and a  sewer fell down into a sewer  line.

16) To help with planting,  the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind  was too strong to wind the  sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear  in the painting I shed a  tear..

19) I had to  subject the subject to  a series of tests.

20) How can I  intimate this to my most  intimate friend?
 
  

Let's  face it - English is a crazy language. There is no  egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither  apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins  weren't invented in England or French fries in  France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,  which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for  granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find  that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are  square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor  is it a pig..

And why is it that writers  write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce  and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is  teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One  goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index,  2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make  amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of  odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,  what do you call it?

If teachers taught,  why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats  vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?  Sometimes I think all the English speakers should  be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.  In what language do people recite at a play and  play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by  ship? Have noses that run and feet that  smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat  chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise  guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the  unique lunacy of a language in which your house  can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in  a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm  goes off by going on.

English was invented  by people, not computers, and it reflects the  creativity of the human race, which, of course, is  not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are  out, they are visible, but when the lights are  out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't  'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' or 'put' with 'but'?

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Alphabets taught to kids today

funny signs 2


Funny Signs from Around the World: dump bodiesOfficial Mafia gathering spot.
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: fishing for childrenDon't even think about fishing for fish.
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: child beer
Beer for children
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: dogs
It's about time that dogs start taking some personal responsibility.
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: fish crap
Real fishy water.
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: humped zebra crossing
Poor zebra... or maybe not.
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: hitting a bird
If you hit a bird, it will fall on its back.
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: question mark
Take a chance card for road monopoly.
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: spray range
Not only king of jungle but king of farts
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: traffic
Go on, break dance, man.
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: no trespassing
Trespassing without asking? Where are your manners?
 
Funny Signs from Around the World: wheelchairs
Feed the crocodiles at your own risk.
 
Funny Signs, Photo Contest
What's funnier - throwing rocks or owning up?
 
Funny Signs, Photo Contest
Makes you wonder which is scarier?
 
Funny Signs, Photo Contest
You should probably turn back now.
 
Funny Signs, Photo Contest
For excavators probably.
 
Funny Signs, Photo Contest
Or thissa way?
 
Funny Signs, Photo Contest
What? 13 cannot?!!?
 
Funny Signs, Photo Contest
Thank God for this map. Otherwise you will really get lost.
 
Funny Signs, Photo Contest
Yep, that's what brought you here.