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Friday, November 30, 2012

A password you never will forget

(some) Finish Strong Motivational Quotes

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new."
- Albert Einstein

"Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it."
- Irving Berlin

"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them."
- Michael Jordan

"The road to success has no speed limit."
- L. Nicole Green

"You'll see it when you believe it."
- Wayne Dyer

"Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps."
- David Lloyd George

"Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything."
- Napoleon Hill

"Set your course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship."
- General Omar N. Bradley

"The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot."
- Michael Altshuler

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
- Will Rogers

Thursday, November 29, 2012

BBQ RULES...new SOP


New Standard Operating Procedures released today please learn
BBQ RULES 
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor
 cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine..... 
(1)
 The woman buys the food. 
(2)
 The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 
(3)
 The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. 
(4)
 The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part: 
(5)
 THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine... 
(6)
 The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. 
(7)
 The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again: 
(8)
 THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. 

More routine... 
(9)
 The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. 
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all: 
(11)
 Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

What Tree Are You?



.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Funny and witty Quotes

At least one of these should bring you a smile!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 
I have kleptomania,
But when it gets bad,
I take something for it.

 
  
   
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
   
   
Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

 
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

 
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

 
In just two days from now,
Tomorrow will be yesterday.

 
A bartender is just a pharmacist
With a limited inventory

 
  
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

 
I may be schizophrenic,
But at least I have each other.

 
I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

 
KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names.

 

 
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

 
In Memoriam

 
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.   Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93.   The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.  They put his left leg in.  And then the trouble started.

 

 
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
 

 
Money isn't everything,
But it sure keeps the kids in touch.

 
Reality is only an illusion
That occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

 
  
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.
  
Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
   
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
 

Airport Screening Results

Education in the 60's - Sounds good to me


Monday, November 26, 2012

Training to be a Doctor (in Germany) 实习医生



Toren C 3 3e seizoen 2011, bij de poep poli (Tower C)

Observations on Life

 Deep Observations on Life

1) "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the 
passengers in his car." --Author Unknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." 
--Author Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." --Drew Carey

4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house." --Jeff Foxworthy

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base." --Dave Barry

6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or 
girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." --Bob Ettinger 

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim'." 
--Paula Poundstone

8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh." --Conan O'Brien

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner." --Lynda Montgomery

10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's gwest.'" --Richard Jeni
 
 
Friends: 
The family we choose for ourselves

Friday, November 23, 2012

Wanted: A good Sub editor

Wanted: A good Sub editor


















 


THEY WALK AMONG US - Scary!!

THEY WALK AMONG US
 
Not sure if these were taken on planet earth.
 

White bag & bracelet are a great touch!


I guess this is the day she decided to stay in her PJs all day?


OMG. it's an epidemic!!


Not too sure about the cherry on the cupcake.. Cupcake!



Slippers, flippers??


M.I.C,,,K.E.Y...M.O.U.S.E!!! whoops. M.I.N.N.I.E...eeewwww


UMMMMMM..


Hey Gal..yo din't do yore hair dis morning.


Just love those leopard prints!


Black plastic,,, it's in this year.



Hey hon. you should've taped it down!


Well??? It all matches!!



Oh no,,, not another one. (High Heels)

 
 
WTF !!!!!!!??????
 
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

Poignant quotes