* If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
* Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.
* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.
* Chess players check-mate better.
* Excuses are like asses: everyone has em and they all stink.
* Squirrel who runs up woman's leg does not find nuts.
* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.
* Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.
* Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
* If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.
* I love you in blue.. I love you in red but most of all, I love you in bed.
* Prostitution is a hole sale business.
* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
* What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
* Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
* Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up straight.
* I'm not attracted by a girl's mind .... But by what she doesn't mind.
* Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home early, kill people.
* Getting married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.