Monday, January 28, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Believe it or not...Men are Everywhere!
Woman has Man in it;
Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.
Send this to all the men just to annoy them,
Monday, January 21, 2013
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off!"
"See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her damned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"
"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it land? My damned forehead!"
The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!"Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Pothole photographer transforms eyesores into works of art - including a garden, swimming pool and a chilled champagne bucket for three
- Davide Luciano was inspired after he damaged his car when he ran over one
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
The Line Between Bigotry and Racism - The Huffington Post
Monday, January 14, 2013
|250 people have fallen off the Leaning Tower of Pisa.|
|A normal person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a Few weeks.|
|About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in in the U.S. Everyday.|
|Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned His wife or mother because they were both deaf.|
|Bone is five times stronger than steel.|
|Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.|
| Elephant teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.|
| If you ate too many carrots, you'd turn orange.|
| It would take 1,200,000 mosquitoes,each sucking once, to completely drain the average human of blood.|
|Longest officially recognized place name in an English-speaking country is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, has 85 letters. It's the name for a hill, 305 metres high, close to Porangahau, New Zealand.|
|Many fish can change sex during the course of their lives. Others, especially rare deep-sea fish, have both male and female sex organs.|
|40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.|
|Sharks can live up to 100 years.|
|There are as many chickens on earth as there are humans.|
| Tiger shark embroyos fight each other in their mother's womb. The survivor is born.|
|You grow by about 8mm (O.3in) every night when you are asleep, but shrink to your former height the following day.|