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Friday, April 26, 2013

Interesting Anagrams


 
 
This has got to be one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
  

PRESBYTERIAN
:
When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER
 

ASTRONOMER
:
When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER
 

DESPERATION
:  
When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT
 

THE EYES
: 
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
 

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
 

THE MORSE CODE
:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
 

DORMITORY
:
When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM
 

SLOT MACHINES
:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
 

ANIMOSITY
:
When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY
 

ELECTION RESULTS
:
When you rearrange the letters:
 
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
 

SNOOZE ALARMS
:
When you rearrange the letters:
 
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
 

A DECIMAL POINT
:
When you rearrange the letters:

I'M A DOT IN PLACE
 

THE EARTHQUAKES
:
When you rearrange the letters:

THAT QUEER SHAKE
 

ELEVEN PLUS TWO
:
When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE
 

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
 

MOTHER-IN-LAW
:
When you rearrange the letters:
 
WOMAN HITLER
 

Bet your friends haven't seen this one.
DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS
 
 




 

Business Marriage Proposal

Thursday, April 25, 2013

It's a guy thing ...

The human body has 7 trillion nerves ... my wife manages to get on every fucking one of them.
————————————————————————
I fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. They're brilliant ... It makes the wife look like she's actually moving during sex.
————————————————————————
My wife said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate. I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock.
————————————————————————
I went to the doctor's office the other day and found out that my new doctor is young female and drop dead gorgeous.
I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I am a professional – I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll check it out.
I said, "My wife thinks that my dick tastes funny"
————————————————————————
I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text message claiming that she loves anal.
Dyslexic bitch, it turns out that she loves Alan, my best friend……
————————————————————————
A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells,
"Don't enter that church, you damn fool !!!"
His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"
Husband replies, "Our wedding video ..."
————————————————————————
Life is like a penis ... Soft and hanging freely ... It's women that make it hard.
————————————————————————
I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what fucking hit it.
———————————————————————–
I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says she doesn't like it.
She says that it makes her sleepy and her ass sore.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Sex philosophy


*  If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

* Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.

* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.

* Chess players check-mate better.

* Excuses are like asses: everyone has em and they all stink.

* Squirrel who runs up woman's leg does not find nuts.

* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.

* Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.

* Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

* If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.

 
* I love you in blue..  I love you in red but most of all, I love you in bed.

* Prostitution is a hole sale business.

* A tight dress is like a barbed fence.  It protects the premises without restricting the view.


* What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

* Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

* Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up straight.


* I'm not attracted by a girl's mind .... But by what she doesn't mind.

* Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home early, kill people.

* Getting married is like getting into a bath tub.   After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.

23 useless things


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

How cork is made

How cork is made
An illustrated guide to the cork production process
 It all starts in the forest. Cork oaks are harvested every nine years, once they reach maturity. It doesn't harm the tree, and the cork bark regrows. Most cork forests are in Portugal and Spain.
 
The year of harvest is marked on the trunk, so each tree isn't harvested at the wrong time. Cork is a great insulating material and gives these oaks a chance to survive the forest fires that occasionally happen in the hot Mediterranean summers.
 
Here's a close-up of a tree that was harvested the year previously.
 
The harvested cork planks are stored before processing.
Good cork companies will store them on concrete rather than bare earth, lowering the risk of contamination.
 
This is a close-up of a piece of bark. It's quite thin, and won't be used to produce high-quality natural cork.
But now there are also technical corks, made up of small pieces of cork fused together,
which means that more of the cork bark is suitable for producing wine bottle closures.
Before processing, the cork planks are put on pallets. Then they are ready for the first stage in the cork production process: boiling.
The following pictures were taken at Amorim's facility in Coruche, ion the south of Portugal.
 
The planks are boiled to soften them, and also to clean them. In the bad old days these would be boiled in murky pits without the water being changed very often.
Now, to avoid cross-contamination, the water is cleaned, filtered and replenished regularly, with volatiles being removed on a continuous basis.
 
This batch is just going in.
 
The boiled planks are flatter and easier to work with.
 
This is a nice-looking piece of cork.
 
Next the planks are graded and cut into workable pieces.
 
Some will be used for punching natural corks out of; others will be used to make technical corks.
The pictures below were all taken at Amorim's factory in the north of Portugal, south of Porto.
 
These workers are hand-punching corks from strips of bark: these will be high-end corks. Others are machine punched.
 
It is a skilled process: make the wrong decisions and the corks aren't good enough, or cork is wasted.
 
 
What remains after the corks have been punched. This remaining cork can be ground up to make granules that can then be glued together to make agglomerate cork.
 
 
The corks are optically sorted: blasts of air are used to send the corks into the right grade bins.
 
 
Then the corks are sorted by eye.
 
 
Great care is taken sorting the top grade corks.
 
These corks will be really expensive: over a Euro each.
 

Monday, April 15, 2013

What airport security found in cell phone!

What airport security found in cell phone!
 
When you see the pictures below, you will understand why they want our cell phones through the x-ray machine.
 
Cell phone GUNS have arrived. Beneath the digital phone face is a ..22 calibre handgun capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession – using the standard telephone keypad. European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery of these deadly decoys. 
Only when you have one in your hand do you realize that they are heavier than a regular cell phone.
 
 
 
Be patient – If security asks to look at your cell phone OR turn it on to show that it works. They have a good reason! 

Friday, April 5, 2013